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    March 16

    伪装的幸福好累好累

         我现在的世界十分的狭隘,时常有着各种的针对不断发生,也许我该学着安分一点,但是这可能么,我根本骨髓里都没有安分的因子,于是我开始喜欢一个词~~伪装。故人都说打肿脸充胖子,也许我就是这样了。成天捧着一本书给人一种勤奋好学的样子,谁知道我是在胡思乱想,发呆这个词似乎是为我创造的,因为它已经成为我的故友。我成天傻笑,但是我真的幸福么,幸福到底是个什么概念?我超爱幻想,但是计划没一次可以顺利履行,好滑稽的感觉。原本我以为我可以伪装得很好,让自己感到很幸福,以后我的生活就不会有那么多的波折,但似乎上帝也是特别希望我成材,所以考验不断的赐予我身上,然而我却没那么多毅力可以承受,好浪费呀。那么为什么上帝赐予我完美主义思想,感觉自己好可怜,但是我却处在别人期望的幸福当中,真是夸张,我该笑么,用一种伪装已久的笑容?欲哭无泪这个词真的好有深意,到了亲身感觉时才知道古人是多么的悲切,文学的造就也就出来了,但是在我苦楚时我能创造出个什么世界呢,伪装的幸福好累好累,伪装中的幸福是幸福的一种么,真羡慕古人的号啕大哭,也羡慕古人放肆的大笑,然而在我身上存有的只是那么些可怜的伪装。默哀吧,我为我的灵魂默哀,不清楚我真正的灵魂在哪飘零,也不知道我的灵魂被我掩盖了多少年,也许现在它正在掩埋它的尘埃哭泣,真的觉得它好幸福,最少它在我抛弃它的同时还可以在尘埃下尽情的哭泣~```

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